My old roommate Liz tagged me in one of those blog games. I have a great love for Liz but a general aversion to games like that (not so much playing myself but being required to tag others) however, this one is especially uncomfortable because all the questions are about my husband.
For those of you who don't already know, I hate to break it to you but, I do not have a husband. Don't get too upset, I have accepted my loss. It was rough for a while but I am used to it now. I finally stopped making dinner for two and started mowing my own lawn (any true follower of my blog knows that is a total lie) and on the bright side, I hardly ever have to do his laundry any more, but sometimes when I get lonely, I still leave the toilet seat up...
But really, this just proves once and for all that Liz truly is in denial about my marital status (to be fair she wrote me a nice email acknowledging her slip and asking me to play along anyway). And since I think Liz is the cutest, nicest, funniest and just generally most perfect person I know, I would do anything for her including pretending my boyfriend is my husband (just like she apparently does all the time). P.S. Mike please do not dump me after you read this.
What's your husband's name? Mike
How long have you guys been married? Zero wonderful years
How long did you date? 1.5 wonderful years and counting
How old is he? 32, which makes me feel old. I remember when the idea of dating a 32-year-old was decidedly creepy!
Who eats more sweets? relatively speaking, I do but he eats more of everything so in strict quantity it is probably him
Who is taller? him
Who is the better singer? yikes, that is a rough one. We both suck. But he always gets booed off of Rock Star and I only sometimes do so I am going to say ME.
Who does the laundry? We both do, that is the beauty of separate houses with separate laundry facilities.
Who pays the bills? Me... well, I pay my bills. I don't know who pays his bills.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? He does... er... um... I mean, shame on you for asking, we have never slept in the same bed.
Who mows the lawn? Him/little neighbor kid/nobody
Who cooks dinner? That might be equal. Sometimes he heats up a hot pocket or corn dog for me. And if I am actually cooking something, he will stir and chop as required.
Who drives? Mostly me. He has a company car with limited miles.
Who is the first to say they are wrong? Still waiting for one of us to fold.
Who kissed who first? We kissed each other at the same time as far as I could tell. I might have initiated it; I may have been "leaning" a bit if you know what I mean.
Who asked out who first? I think I lost a bet and had to take him to ice cream, that was probably our first date, which was probably after we kissed for the first time (in the midst of the Wasatch Back, a 24 hr. relay race---relay romances have always been irresistable for me)... actually, I really cannot remember.
Who wears the pants? We both do most of the time, but sometimes Mike likes to relax in a flowy skirt... just kidding, I am not sure we are in a deciding-who-wears-the-pants kind of relationship, that is so last century.
And that is all... I hope nobody gets too sad that I am not tagging anyone else. If you have a great desire to write about your husband/boyfriend/pet/roommate, just take the initiative yourself; you do not need my permission.
For those of you who don't already know, I hate to break it to you but, I do not have a husband. Don't get too upset, I have accepted my loss. It was rough for a while but I am used to it now. I finally stopped making dinner for two and started mowing my own lawn (any true follower of my blog knows that is a total lie) and on the bright side, I hardly ever have to do his laundry any more, but sometimes when I get lonely, I still leave the toilet seat up...
But really, this just proves once and for all that Liz truly is in denial about my marital status (to be fair she wrote me a nice email acknowledging her slip and asking me to play along anyway). And since I think Liz is the cutest, nicest, funniest and just generally most perfect person I know, I would do anything for her including pretending my boyfriend is my husband (just like she apparently does all the time). P.S. Mike please do not dump me after you read this.
What's your husband's name? Mike
How long have you guys been married? Zero wonderful years
How long did you date? 1.5 wonderful years and counting
How old is he? 32, which makes me feel old. I remember when the idea of dating a 32-year-old was decidedly creepy!
Who eats more sweets? relatively speaking, I do but he eats more of everything so in strict quantity it is probably him
Who is taller? him
Who is the better singer? yikes, that is a rough one. We both suck. But he always gets booed off of Rock Star and I only sometimes do so I am going to say ME.
Who does the laundry? We both do, that is the beauty of separate houses with separate laundry facilities.
Who pays the bills? Me... well, I pay my bills. I don't know who pays his bills.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? He does... er... um... I mean, shame on you for asking, we have never slept in the same bed.
Who mows the lawn? Him/little neighbor kid/nobody
Who cooks dinner? That might be equal. Sometimes he heats up a hot pocket or corn dog for me. And if I am actually cooking something, he will stir and chop as required.
Who drives? Mostly me. He has a company car with limited miles.
Who is the first to say they are wrong? Still waiting for one of us to fold.
Who kissed who first? We kissed each other at the same time as far as I could tell. I might have initiated it; I may have been "leaning" a bit if you know what I mean.
Who asked out who first? I think I lost a bet and had to take him to ice cream, that was probably our first date, which was probably after we kissed for the first time (in the midst of the Wasatch Back, a 24 hr. relay race---relay romances have always been irresistable for me)... actually, I really cannot remember.
Who wears the pants? We both do most of the time, but sometimes Mike likes to relax in a flowy skirt... just kidding, I am not sure we are in a deciding-who-wears-the-pants kind of relationship, that is so last century.
And that is all... I hope nobody gets too sad that I am not tagging anyone else. If you have a great desire to write about your husband/boyfriend/pet/roommate, just take the initiative yourself; you do not need my permission.
7 comments:
Yikes, in re-reading my little blog I think it makes me sound divorced. To be clear, I have never been married. I just try to be funny sometimes.
I loved the post Brit, totally made me laugh, and I'm glad to know you are getting over your "loss". I think the only people that may be thinking you are divorced are those lovely blog stokers out there who don't know the real story.
Totally love it! And you are a good sport. I don't know if I am going to do another TAG again. I love reading them though. I think you are hilarious. Just this morning I was thinking about you and Liz and how now I am the one in the household that buys the T.P. and I just don't remember if I ever did when we were roommates. So, sorry if you always supplied the necessities!
Erin, I have been meaning to tell you that you owe me $53.24 for two years of toilet paper mooching. Just kidding, I have no memory of buying toilet paper either. Maybe we just always used campus facilities or maybe we both owe Liz. Ooops.
You are hilarious! I don't feel bad at all now for sending it to you. I loved reading it. Its too funny that you said I was in denial. I just sent it to my friends...I'm glad you are happy with Mike and I'll beat him up if he breaks up with you over this :) And Erin and Britt- You both owe me for that 5 gallon container of icecream that we hid under Erin's bed whenever Stef would come in. Not sure who bougt TP...maybe it was Caroline.... I miss you two!! Hi Jade :)
PS...do you remember when we got in trouble for letting guys in pass the chasity line to use the bathroom. I think it was me, whoever it was, I made sure guys were over one time and used it just to show her they weren't going in our rooms....don't think they used TP....
Boys PAST the chastity line? That did not happen. Why are you making stuff up?
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